Stay Awake

Stay Awake

Go to the well of your disappointment and sorrow and rage, or even your great triumph. Go to the limits of everything and then let's meet back in the middle space, the one in the center of your chest, the one that's calling us to wake up and stay that way.

Sugar Free: Day One

Sugar Free: Day One

I once gave up sugar, fat, protein, fruit, vegetables with any calories, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, too much water, diet soda, regular soda, anything that wasn't cabbage soup designed to make you shit your body weight out, and even sugar-free gum. 

Don't Let The House Burn Down

Don't Let The House Burn Down

Something I know to be true only 100% of the time is this: once you know a truth, you will never not know it. You’re going to end up at that truth no matter how long or complicated a detour you take. 

Give Up

Give Up

Two years ago today, I gave up. I looked down at my swollen toes pinched into my black patent leather shoes—shoes I wore only because they looked and felt better, more grown up, than I did that day—and I stopped promising myself I would never drink again.

To Die and So To Grow

To Die and So To Grow

I have a beautiful wife and three young children. Here's the thing, I feel like I'm dying. It's been three months and I can't find a job in my industry. Everyone is willing to help, but I don't know how they can. It's like, yeah, ah, get me a job. After you stop drinking life doesn't go away. 

What Kind of Call Do You Want to Answer?

What Kind of Call Do You Want to Answer?

This past weekend, a friend who I hadn’t actually talked to in years sent me a message asking if we could talk. She was scared and afraid she was in trouble with her drinking and she knew it was late, but was I there? I was, and we talked, and I don’t know if it helped or if it’ll change anything for her, but I was just so damn grateful I could answer.

Pictured / Not Pictured

Pictured / Not Pictured

Do you ever/did you ever look at friends' Facebook posts, or hear good news about their lives, and be filled with a combination of jealousy and rage? Sometimes I feel that way and I am so ashamed that I can't just be happy for other people without feeling like my life in no way measures up. I have good things in my life...but not the marriage, house, and kids that everyone posts a million pictures of. And my instinctual reaction to watching other people be happy is, "Why can't I be like that?" Sometimes I just have to stop looking because otherwise, it makes me so sad.

Seasons

Seasons

All around me, I can see the unmistakable beauty in all the seasons that have passed, especially the really difficult ones. I can honor the one I am in. This is the season of my adult aloneness. The season of writing my first book. The season of goddess friendships and living in my body. The season of mothering and becoming an aunt. The season of my 39th year.