Today

"The Holy Spirit's temple is not a body, but a relationship." - A Course in Miracles

This will be a short post. This morning my husband and I have our divorce court proceedings. It's been three years, and all is fine, really, but it marks an official end of a nine year chapter, and I've found myself swirling the past few days. I've been trying to unpack the emotions, put some narrative to the story, with little success.

Am I sad? Certainly.

Am I grateful? Beyond.

Am I regretful? Of the way things went, but not of the outcome, yes.

Am I relieved? Not really.

Do I need to understand what I am, exactly? Not today.

Will it be delivered to me later, in chapters? Yes, as it always has.

I pulled out Marianne Williamson's "A Return to Love" last night, read a few passages and let it sit on my night stand as I slept.

"The Holy Spirit's temple is not a body, but a relationship."

Later in the chapter, she says, "in every relationship, in every moment, we teach either love or fear." Of all the things I cannot pull out, separate and identify yet, I can say that in our relationship, and especially in the dissolution of it, I was taught love. There was plenty of fear, but it was mine. I was given and taught love, so much that I could not accept it at times.

I will have more to say. There is so much more to say. But I have to get myself in the shower, get ready and put my left foot in front of my right and do the next thing.

Love.