Episode 54: Forgiveness

In this episode, we respond to a letter from a woman who's having difficulty forgiving herself for her transgressions in her marriage during her drinking years. Despite having got sober and working through the issues with her husband, she's recently been reminded and is having trouble moving past that time again.

Holly and I talk about the things we've had to work hardest to forgive ourselves for, how we did it, and what we would tell the letter writer.

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Episode 53: Why Me?

In this week's episode, we respond to a letter from a man who's wondering why he got addicted in the first place. Was it his upbringing? His work environment? The fact that he lives in Australia but was born in Ohio? Was he predestined to go down the path, or is it something he succumbed to? This episode confronts the questions so many of us have when we're faced with sobriety: why, and why me?

Music by Radiation City. Photo credit: Matthew Wiebe @ Unsplash

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Episode 52: James Altucher

James Altucher is an entrepreneur and writer. He's founded 20 companies, ranging from hedge funds to dating websites, most of which he says failed. Following a bottom where he "saw my account go from $15 million to $143 in a matter of months; I lost my house, my friends, my sanity and considered killing myself" he started a blog where he wrote honestly about his experience. The blog became a huge success (post titles include: "I Want My Kids to be Drug Addicts" and "I Want to Die"). Today he's the author of a dozen books, including "Choose Yourself," which Business Week named one of the 12 best business books of all time and a podcaster with guests like Seth Godin and Wayne Dyer.

In the longest and most windy-road episode to date, he talks to the us (live in NYC, with me) about his own experience with addiction, why he recently sold off all his belongings, his awkwardness, depression, the efficiency of his 4:00 a.m. haircuts, marriage, divorce, the importance of surrender and the compounding nature of ideas.

Resources

  • James Altucher Website: www.jamesaltucher.com.
  • Choose Yourself by James Altucher 
  • Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson - after the show, I asked James what his favorite book was. This is it. "Must for any writer." I bought it and it is pretty fucking great.

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Episode 51: Money Sobriety with Meadow DeVor

This could be called the breakthrough episode. It's not the topic of sex, or heartache, or blackouts, or shame that Holly and I have been most afraid to talk about, but MONEY. In this episode, Meadow DeVor joins us to break it down. Having recovered from her own financial bottom of being over half a million dollars in debt (while coaching people about money!), she talks about her own story and the truly mind-blowing topic of Money Sobriety, her personal recovery, and she then coaches us ever-so-gently through our own resistance and limiting beliefs about money that are only, oh, a lifetime old.

Meadow is the author of Money Love, a master life coach and the founder of Yoga Church. She speaks, writes and coaches extensively on the topics of money, trauma, yoga and healing.

More about her, her book Money Love, and Yoga Church can be found on www.MeadowDeVor.com.

Resources 

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Episode 50: About Us

Episode 50! For this special episode, Holly and I pull the curtain back and talk about our friendship. We each recount how we met, our first impressions of each other, what it was like to hang out IRL (in real life) and the best and most difficult parts are about our relationship. A bunch of laughs, more than a few tears, and a surprise or two.

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Episode 49: LGBTQ, Addiction, and The Hard Conversations

In this episode, TJ Woodward, an addiction counselor, inspirational speaker and author in San Francisco joins us to talk about the specific issues the LGBTQ community faces in addiction and recovery. He talks about the shifts he's seen over the course of his journey as a gay, sober man, his career, and what he believes is to come. Most importantly, the three of us talked about the urgent importance of having the difficult conversations around sexuality, violence, addiction, race, or any other issue that separates us.

TJ is the minister and spiritual director of Awakened Living, and is in private practice as a spiritual counselor and life coach. He also works as the spiritual counselor and group facilitator at Foundations San Francisco Intensive Outpatient Program in San Francisco. He is the host of Awakened Living TV and Awakened Living Radio and is soon publishing his second book, "Conscious Recovery." Learn more about TJ and his work on his website.

Resources

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Episode 48: Seane Corn

Seane Corn is an internationally celebrated yoga teacher, activist, and the founder of "Off The Mat, Into The World." She's also one of our own personal sheroes and, we believe, one of the true teachers of our time.

In this episode, she talks about the link between trauma and addiction, the mind-body connection, her own OCD, and how the practice of yoga helps us heal. I got to share the story of meeting Seane 20 days sober at Kripalu in 2014 (where I was introduced to her concept of "Non-Negotiables" - something that really changed my life and my recovery) and Holly talks about how taking Seane's class and hearing her message re-awakened her own purpose.

More about Seane and her work can be found on her website: www.seanecorn.com.

Resources

BOOKS

LINKS

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Episode 47: Lisa Smith, Author of "Girl Walks Out of a Bar"

Description

Lisa Smith is a writer and a lawyer based in NYC. Girl Walks Out of a Bar (released today!) is her story of addiction and recovery. Prior to beginning her more than 15-year legal marketing career, Lisa practiced corporate finance law at a leading international law firm.

We talk to Lisa about what it's like leading a double life as a successful, career-driven woman who was secretly relying on coke and alcohol for years to get her through, her friendships, meeting her husband and how she approached the, "Hey, I don't drink" conversation, and navigating the legal profession sober. 

More about Lisa and her writing can be found on her website.

Resources

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Episode 46: Jeff DeFlavio and Opiate Addiction

Description

Jeff founded Recover Together (soon to be rebranded "Groups") to solve a profound market failure and social ill: millions of people addicted to heroin are seeking treatment, but there are no healthcare providers to serve them. He talks about how and why he founded the company, his mission, the opiate epidemic and how he counsels people seeking recovery.

Disclaimer: sound quality isn't the best! We're working on it.

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Episode 45: Laura's Lazy, Holly's Mangry

Description

In this catch-up ep, the girls do the round robin about work, love, sobriety and home life while cussing like sailors (sorry). Laura talks about the embarrassment of wanting a man-friend, blowing up on her kid, and pushing away limiting beliefs. Holly goes into the joy of her 100-hour work weeks, being geographically unrooted, having an adult bed, and...of course...embracing her newfound love for being Mangry.

Music by Radiation City.


Resources, Links


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Episode 44: Mom Shame

Description

One year ago today, Melissa Johnson's kids were taken from her custody. And one year ago, tomorrow, she will celebrate 365 days sober. In this gorgeous talk - equal in heartbreak and hope - she courageously (really, is there anything more brave?) shares her story about losing custody twice, her experience in AA, forever tries, the power of love and mercy, and coping with the particularly nasty flavor of shame saved for mothers.

Melissa writes openly about her story on her website, My Truth Starts Here. She also recently started a non-profit in Oklahome (where Melissa lives) to clean and organize homes for sober women called Clean Life, Clean Home

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Episode 43: Shame

Description

Okay, so this one is tough to release into the wild. 

Perhaps the most difficult aspect in overcoming addiction is shame. In this episode, Holly and I talk about the pervasiveness of shame and how it shaped our lives, played into our drinking, and how we learned to work with it. I talk about the particular shame of being a mother who drank, and how I've coped with that in sobriety.

Music by Radiation City.

Resources

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

Power vs. Force by David Hawkins

Dark Side of The Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

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Episode 42: O.P.D. (Other People's Drinking)

DESCRIPTION

In this ep, we answer a letter from a sober woman who was frustrated and disappointed by a yoga retreat she attended where drinking played a much bigger part than she expected. How do we deal with being sober in a drinking world, especially in places where we don't expect it? How do we deal with our own judgments around drinking? Is other people's drinking ever our business?

RESOURCES

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

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Episode 41: The Fight

This one is alternatively titled "That Time We Tried to Answer a Listener's Letter But Fought Instead." Oops.

The letter writer is frustrated that her attempts at self-care, including sobriety, are only making her feel edgy, unstable and unjustifiably angry with her husband. Why does it look and feel more like a fight than a spiritual, loving journey?

We tried hard to bring some perspective -- and maybe, partially succeed in doing so -- but mostly we just have it out in the end.


RESOURCES


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Episode 40: Laura & Holly Freak Out

Let's talk about freaking the f*%k out, shall we? As I sits squarely in a freak out state after recently quit my job/career (something Holly did 2+ years ago), Holly and I talk about what it's like to be groundless, how we cope with it, how it plays with sobriety and what our top 3 tips are for getting through it.

Music by Radiation City.


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Episode 39: Holly Doesn't Talk for 10 Days

HOLLY IS BACK! She spent 10 days at a silent meditation retreat and lived to tell about it. We talk about why she’d do such a thing and what the best, worst and most surprising moments were. Highlights include visits from Yogi Bahjan, missing God, the wisdom of no escape, sharting (yes), and knowing vs. Knowing.

Music by Radiation City.


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Episode 38: Augusten Burroughs

Augusten Burroughs is my favorite holy ssdflkmsdfmschjberg I can't even type this without having to pee!

Ahem.

Augusten Burroughs is the author of ten books, including the NYT Bestseller-turned-movie "Running with Scissors," "Dry," which tracks his journey through addiction and sobriety, "This Is How," his unique foray into self-help and his most recent memoir (released TODAY, March 29), "Lust and Wonder."

In this episode -- which was totally surreal to record, with video on, for an hour, via Skype) -- he talks to us about his new book, moving out of NYC and his shapeshifting dogs, finding the capital-T-Truth, sobriety, the accusations that he bashes AA, marrying his agent and the day he started writing instead of drinking.

 

Lust and Wonder comes out March 29 and is Augusten's 9th memoir and 10th book.

Personally, doing this interview was a major Life Moment (I had to sit on my hands the entire time we were talking to tamp down my OMG nerves!). I first read "Dry" over ten years ago, adored it, and went on to read everything he's ever written. When people ask who my most favorite authors are, he's on the short list. When I want to laugh or remember what it's like to read the Capital-T-truth, I open up "Dry." Quotes from "This is How" are scattered all over my home, my journals, my Instagram account, my brain. He's played a big part in my own journey toward recovery, particularly in the earliest days when I was wrestling with finding the third door. In my deep struggling moments I'd hear his tough-loving words:

In 100 percent of the documented cases of alcoholism worldwide, the people who recovered all shared one thing in common, no matter how they did it:
They didn't do it.
They just didn’t do it. 
You can absolutely stop drinking today, right now.

...and as much as I hated him for saying it, I knew he was right. 

They say to never meet your heroes, but in this case, it turned out to be alright. It turned out to be amazing. OK! I won't keep you anymore...here he is.


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Episode 37: Scott Stabile

Scott Stabile is an author, screenwriter, speaker and love spreader. At 14, he lost his parents tragically and later lost his brother to heroin overdose. He takes us through the impact of these losses, and how addiction - both his fathers and his brothers - shaped his life, and his path to becoming a champion for forgiveness, compassion, humor and love.

Scott's Facebook community www.facebook.com/ScottFrankStabile.


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Episode 36: Eating Disorders, Part 2 of 3

In the second part of this three part series, Holly and I talk to Gina Lorenzo, a Holistic Health Counselor through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She's also a certified Gabby Bernstein coach and has worked with me as a coach over the past year to navigate recovery, career and other Life Stuff. As someone in long-term recovery from both alcohol addiction and disordered eating, Gina offers some unique perspective on the linkages between the two from a personal standpoint. Listen to part one of this series here.

Ironically, Holly was severely constipated while recording this and Laura was suffering from an extreme emotional hangover.

Gina mentions two books as great resources:

Eating in The Light of The Moon by Anita Johnston, PhD and Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. I read the latter several years ago and found it tremendously helpful.


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Episode 35: Labels, Part 2 of 2

In this episode, we pick up from Episode 33 and talk about how the label "alcoholic" has evolved for us in sobriety and whether or not we use it now and why. I tell the story about how, after recording Part 1 of this series, my daughter screamed in the middle of her birthday party, "MY MOM IS AN ALCOHOLIC!" and Holly talks about how labels divide and "other" us, particularly this one. Enjoy, lovelies.


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Subscribe on iTunesSoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher.