This week, we dig into that awful four-letter word: SELFISH. To many, being selfish—as in, putting your needs above the needs of others—is one the worst possible ways of being, and it’s avoided at all costs. As teachers, selfishness is one of the most common themes among students in our classes, especially with women: even the idea of doing something for oneself is uncomfortable at best, and sometimes downright impossible.
So, what does it really mean to be a selfish person? What does this belief system create in our lives? Is there a balance? Let's talk.
We talked about
eating pizza for the first time after a marathon and not feeling guilty about it
Meadow having weird dreams about food and family members
resistance to selfishness feeling like martyrdom
the “selfish label” having detrimental effects on relationships, even as a kid
how you can’t really live an unselfish life
an eye-opening money coach training experience makes the light bulb go off
toxic guilt and being an “employee” to yours
the paradox of people not wanting to be seen as selfish
true generosity and what that looks and feels like
the icky feeling that sabotages healers, yoga teachers, and other aspiring spiritual business owners
not becoming a “steamy raisin”
Laura being invited to “hang out” with old friends after years of sobriety
teaching others what to expect from us
how you’re not that big of a deal, actually
“You’re always being selfish. You’re either doing it in the name of altruism, or you’re doing it in the name of actual selfishness.”
“The faulty message was, ‘You’re here to serve others and wanting anything for yourself is evil.’”
What do you really value?
What (or who) are you actually serving (with your guilt or unselfishness)?
If you make a decision, will it be an energetic detriment to you? Will it cost you too much?
You’re not too busy, you’re just choosing to do something else...so what are you choosing right now?
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt
Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport
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Spiritualish is hosted by Laura McKowen and Meadow DeVor. Sometimes spiritual, always inappropriate. New episodes drop every Thursday.