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Latest on Spiritualish.

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Ep. 62: Becoming Laura

This week, we get the full backstory on how Laura came to do the work she does. She talks about what she did for work in the fifteen years before she quit her job in 2016, how and when and why she started podcasting and blogging, what led up to the moment she quit, making big leaps, the angels along the way, and more.

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Ep. 61: Balance is Bullshit. Maybe?

Not the typical Spiritualish episode, this week we work out a question in real time. What is this elusive myth of balance? Work-life balance. Love-work balance. Family-work-love-life-home balance. Anything-balance. Is it possible? Is it even desirable? Meadow gets personal with an issue she's working through currently and we discuss whether what she's seeking is balance or something else.

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Ep. 60: Selfish

This week, we dig into that awful four-letter word: SELFISH. To many, being selfish—as in, putting your needs above the needs of others—is one the worst possible ways of being, and it’s avoided at all costs. As teachers, selfishness is one of the most common themes among students in our classes, especially with women: even the idea of doing something for oneself is uncomfortable at best, and sometimes downright impossible.

So, what does it really mean to be a selfish person? What does this belief system create in our lives? Is there a balance? Let's talk.

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On The Blog. 

Blog
You could be soft instead.
You could be soft instead.
Not So Different from Drinking: Technology Addiction and Why I'm Adopting Digital Minimalism
Not So Different from Drinking: Technology Addiction and Why I'm Adopting Digital Minimalism

I thought it was about social media. But it was about all of it. It was about being on, all the time. Being connected, and open to connections, and available, and expected to respond and expecting to get a response, and creating thousands upon thousands of tiny slivers of interactions to “connect” and “be productive” simply because I could. It’s actually worse than that. I had fallen into a very intentional trap laid by tech companies who only make money if I keep picking up my phone and putting my eyeballs on their apps.

Hacking the energy, sleep, focus, depression, headache, body-ache, and mood-swing problem
Hacking the energy, sleep, focus, depression, headache, body-ache, and mood-swing problem

I’d been battling constant fatigue, energy swings, inability to focus for long periods of time, or sometimes at all—as though there was a thin, cloudy film around my brain—for too long. A month ago, I decided to go grain and sugar-free, and it worked.

You need to make your bones.
You need to make your bones.

I’ve learned to do the most important things in the morning: write, sweat, journal, meditate because it’s when I’m most clean and clear and sharp, by far. If I wait, the chances of those things happening falls drastically. And if those things don’t happen, my mind and life fall off track astonishingly fast. It’s practical. And practical every day equals profound. This is how you make your bones.

The Ghost of Drinking: Reflections on Sober Travel
The Ghost of Drinking: Reflections on Sober Travel

The phenomenon has revealed itself over time. In the beginning, traveling was nail-bitingly stressful and not fun at all. It took time for me to appreciate the concept of traveling without imbibing, to rewrite all those tracks in my brain that said the only way traveling would be a full experience was if I was drinking my way through it. For a while—like a couple years—I equated new places with the uprush of intoxication. It felt sad, boring, and incomplete to even imagine a vacation unpunctuated with cocktails, let alone actually do it.

The Big Chill: How to Tell People You're Not Drinking
The Big Chill: How to Tell People You're Not Drinking

Saying “no” to drinking alcohol can cause some serious anxiety. Here are three common scenarios and how to approach them.

laura mckowen media.jpg

The ‘Gram.

Ohhhh how truuuuuue it issssss. @yyoga
Sometimes it’s sneaky. I spent a little time with my girl this morning, but she’s with her dad for the weekend. I love Easter, both the meaning and the day itself—one of those no pressure holidays. It was always fun growing up, filled with food and treats and too much sugar. Plus, spring. Driving to the coffee shop to work, something started to tug at me. An ache. A loneliness? A missing? I choked up a little—and this surprised me. What is it? Ah, yes. The body remembers. It’s a holiday. I am dislocated, even if only a little. I was invited to dinner with people. I have more than enough love around me. But family, it’s different. I don’t have family around. And mostly that’s okay—but sometimes there is a space and I feel it. I am in love with the work I get to do and I’ve spent the last five hours putting the finishing touches on my writing class, The Practice, which will open for registration this week. And, I’m aware I am not doing other things—and that I have chosen this. It’s possible to feel joy and sadness and tenderness and hollowness at the same time. I love that about life, even when I don’t. We are always mixed and betwixt. So, just a little hello from here. To tell you wherever you are, and whatever world you’re inhabiting today, I am here hanging out in the mixed and betwixt with you. ❤️🐰
We all get one (if we’re lucky). Some kind of invitation to step into a bigger life. Maybe you didn’t get addicted to drinking booze, or taking pills, or trying to go unconscious night after night. Maybe your thing is chasing love, or sex, or being perfect, or keeping your body very small. Maybe you don’t have a thing, but you still feel a deadness inside and there’s a voice that haunts you—it finds you every morning just after you wake, before you remember yourself—and it whispers, Listen to me. Say yes to me. That voice is not your problem haunting you—it’s your invitation trying to reach you. So many people tell me how embarrassed they are of their “problem” with alcohol. They don’t know how to talk about it, or why they have it, or how to get others to see it differently. They feel broken and weak and stupid. This is the thing, and I say it over and over again in my book. Addiction is a human condition. It’s not special. It’s not a problem. It’s not even that interesting. But it is A DAMN GOOD INVITATION. This is why I say we are the luckiest. Not because life in sobriety is rainbows, but because it’s BIG. It includes everything. We get to be here for it all. I love you. I root for you. Keep going.
We all get one (if we’re lucky). Some kind of invitation to step into a bigger life. Maybe you didn’t get addicted to drinking booze, or taking pills, or trying to go unconscious night after night. Maybe your thing is chasing love, or sex, or being perfect, or keeping your body very small. Maybe you don’t have a thing, but you still feel a deadness inside and there’s a voice that haunts you—it finds you every morning just after you wake, before you remember yourself—and it whispers, Listen to me. Say yes to me. That voice is not your problem haunting you—it’s your invitation trying to reach you. So many people tell me how embarrassed they are of their “problem” with alcohol. They don’t know how to talk about it, or why they have it, or how to get others to see it differently. They feel broken and weak and stupid. This is the thing, and I say it over and over again in my book. Addiction is a human condition. It’s not special. It’s not a problem. It’s not even that interesting. But it is A DAMN GOOD INVITATION. This is why I say we are the luckiest. Not because life in sobriety is rainbows, but because it’s BIG. It includes everything. We get to be here for it all. I love you. I root for you. Keep going.
This is us. Alma and I (and apparently the cats) have been obsessed with @queereye. The show is gold, but really love that I can watch it with my 10 year-old and we both adore it equally and have belly laughs and laugh snorts. @jvn, @tanfrance, @bobbyberk, @karamo, @antoni : you guys did a good good thing. 🔥 Problem: we’ve watched all the eps and are now empty of meaning. 😭
When I quit my job (career...if you’re doing something for that long I think it’s a career?) three years ago my instinct—before I went in and quit—was to get permission. From my parents (I was 38), my ex-husband, my friends. And then I realized I didn’t need it (again, I was 38—and still looking for a slip 🤷🏻‍♀️). __ I hate all the cliche “leap and the net will appear” BS. I hate the word hustle. And side-hustle. And passion. Life is so much more layered and messy and complicated than that. But there are some things that aren’t complicated and this is one of them: you will never get enough permission. Not ever. __ You will get support though. Maybe not from the ones you want it from most, but you’ll get it from the right ones, at the right time. You just gotta be paying attention. __ I talk about this and more in Ep. 62 of @spiritualish. Up and available for your ears noooooooow.
Isn’t that the damn truth. From one of the best bands and songwriters I don’t talk about enough, @dawestheband. Song: Crack The Case. Straight to the heart, every time. 🏹
The other day I fell down an IG rabbit hole. It hasn’t happened in a while, and—as it goes with rabbit holes—I didn’t know I was in it until I was strung out and twitching with self-doubt and slimed with jealousy. It usually goes like this: I see someone post about someone else’s book. I check the someone else’s profile. So many followers! So much buzz! In their feed, I see regrams from other Important People who have promoted their book or otherwise made public but casual show of their connection to each other. I continue to follow the breadcrumbs of accounts, posts, images, hashtags, comments, until the regressive transformation into my 13-year-old self is fully complete. I am not part of the Cool Club. Nobody likes me. Nobody even knows me. I AM INVISIBLE. It’s not just uncomfortable, it’s impossible. I am talentless, unoriginal, failing at everything, and will be homeless soon. Why do I even try? Have I ever done anything remotely interesting? Will I ever? What’s the point? Since I can’t beat them, I will shit-talk them. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I text a friend. “Have you seen so-and-so’s this-and-that? LAME.” Friend (in this case @meadowdevor) says, did you just rabbit hole again? I admit I have (but in my mind THIS IS REAL). She reminds me it is not real. It is a pocket computer and I’ve fallen into the imaginary vortex again. I delete the app. I pet a living thing: a cat, my daughter. I try to remind myself of who I am and the real things that matter and what I’ve got and what I’ve done, but it’s all far away. It takes a few days, sometimes longer. I limp for a while. Eventually I remember. So, PSA: if it’s making you feel like shit, don’t do it. This means: you can unfollow people (even people you like!) that tweak the compare-despair thing in you. You can take breaks for however long you want/need. Last, remember: you’re not doing it wrong, these apps were made specifically to keep you hooked by triggering more negative/want feelings than positive ones. #iloveyou #irootforyou #keepgoing
“She turned to the sunlight And shook her yellow head, And whispered to her neighbour: ‘Winter is dead.’” -AA Milne . . . . Fun fact: I have the last line tattooed on my arm carried by a raven. It symbolizes the end of a very dark season of my life. 🏹 🦅 ❤️
I don’t know when I wrote this to myself, but it was true. And you can. #irootforyou