A monthly list of books, art, music, tech-things, people, and other stuff I’m loving right now. Shared for no other reason than it brings me joy.
Today I am four years sober. I don’t know much, but I know this: you must let the space exist between where you are and where you want to be. You must do everything you can to stay in that space until a new life fills in.
There are few things I love more than a book list, so here’s one that’s near and dear to my heart. A mix of memoirs, self-help, and psychological/scientific study, these are my favorite books about addiction and sobriety.
I remember so looking forward to drinking again once I had her. I missed the release, the inclusion, the socializing, the softening. Almost immediately after she was born I went back to it, joining in at parties with my husband and baby in tow, having my girlfriends over or going to their house for wine like we had been doing for years. One time, just a couple weeks after she was born, I walked in a snowstorm to my friend’s place a few blocks away, just to try and feel like my “old” self for a few minutes. I barely drank one glass of wine before I felt so ill I had to trek home. I had mastitis.
Now, for various reasons, I’m not sure I want to do it anymore. I’m not sure it’s a good fit, and I feel like other things are becoming more important to me. But I’m afraid to stop because 1) what will God think? And 2) what will other people think? I have many religious friends an I worry that they will judge me if I leave. I also hate calling attention to myself and change will do that. But I don’t want to be a prisoner of other people’s judgments.
I’ve become fairly obsessed with sleep in recent years. Since getting sober, sleep has become a true spiritual practice for me. It’s a daily, practical practice that I take as sacred and imperative to my sanity. It is probably my number one self-care practice and a total non-negotiable. With that, I bring you seven things that have brought me better sleep.